A Lesson Plan from Great Teacher Onizuka

A Lesson Plan from Great Teacher Onizuka

by


Lesson 1

I. Objective/s:


A. Drop out of university
B. Get a job
C. Be famous and rich!!!

II. Subject Matter


A. Talking about oneself

  1. Name: Eikichi Onizuka
  2. Current status: bored and jobless
  3. Current location: Tokyo
  4. Current companion: Ryuji
  5. Special note: still a virgin, dang!


B. Integration to society

  1. Walk around hoping to find some job
  2. Meet cute girls

III. Materials/ Reference:


A. High school girls


B. High school girls with short skirts

IV. Procedure


A. Introduction

  1. Peep under cute girl’s skirt
  2. Buy her lunch


B. Motivation

  1. Get a kiss Eh?! She’s gone back to that ugly, bald guy… who’s her BOYFRIEND?!
  2. Do not let the previous event get you down
  3. If an ugly, bald teacher can get a cute girl then…
  4. I WILL BECOME A TEACHER!!! FROM NOW ON I WILL BE THE GREAT TEACHER ONIZUKAAAAA!!!


Lesson 2

I. Objective/s:

A. Become a teacher

B. Scout for potential girlfriends

II. Subject Matter

A. School

  1. Name: Musashino Kichijoji Higashi High School
  2. Co-ed high school
  3. Location: Tokyo

B. Integration to society

  1. Meet co-workers
  2. Meet cute girls
  3. Impress someone before teaching term ends

III. Materials/ Reference:

A. High school girls who lose their volleyball

B. Fellow teacher, Hidero Osawa (special note: he’s addicted to chasing girls… I know he’ll be a good co-teacher. (￣▽￣))

IV. Procedure:

A. Lead-in:

  1. Help cute high school girl who just lost her volleyball
  2. Follow Hidero-san’s advice to chase after young girl in school

B. Practice:

  1. Greet class in high spirit while checking out girls
  2. Er… there are not many girls…

C. Motivation

  1. Never mind about B.2. There’s still that cute girl who lost her volleyball
  2. Saw cute student and learned she fought with her parents. She wants to go home with me!!!
  3. Ahem, I must do my civic duty to prevent any harm from happening to this girl if she shouls be left alone in the streets. I will take her home with me.
  4. YES!!!
  5. Oh yeah, and her name’s Nanako.




Lesson 3

I. Objective/s:

-Teach kids a lesson they will never forget

II. Pupils

A. Nanako

  1. Brought her home
  2. Tried to tidy up apartment
  3. Says my room is a man’s room ￣▽￣
  4. Starts to undress

B. Other students

  1. Suddenly appear out of nowhere
  2. Takes pictures of undressed Nanako in my room
  3. Blackmails me and runs away! (ಥ益ಥ)

II. Procedure

A. Locate Punks

B. Teach ’em a practical, out-of-the-classroom kind of lesson

  1. Water torture
  2. Drag them behind their bikes

C. Motivation

  1. I probably won’t reach lesson 4
  2. But they must pay!!!

Note: Hey, those punks actually look up to me after my “special” exercise last night and my supervisors have been wowed by my ability to turn ’em into good students, I actually get to keep my job. Am I teacher material or what?!